Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
