my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize