I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
