I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
we're so committed to being not committed
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
