talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
