she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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