is wine microwaveable?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
