All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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