Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
