i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
