Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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