I seem to have left my pride at pride
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
