dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
