If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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