Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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