Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
