so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
