Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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