i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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