nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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