I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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