The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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