elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
