I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
