forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
