You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
