Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
