You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
