Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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