He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
