remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
