He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
