my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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