watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
