Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
