just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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