All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
