you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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