I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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