Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize