Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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