"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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