votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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