She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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