I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm too high and old for this...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize