you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
