Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
