Me too!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
