ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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