when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
