I'm really into asian looking animals
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
