xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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