:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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