3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
