I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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