my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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