Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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