I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
