i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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