have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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