hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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