Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize