Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
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