I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
