He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
ttyl tear gas
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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