my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
