There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize