Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
