Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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